Marriage = Death?

I can NOT even begin to tell you how many times I hear “but aren’t you married?” I always give the same response. I’m married, not DEAD! Some people still won’t understand what I mean because a lot of marriages feel like death to some. At least they feel a part of their past selves die. This is not the case for me. I am happily married. When I say happy I mean we are happy. I don’t say it to rub it in single woman’s faces or to “pretend” it’s something it isn’t. I will be the first one to tell you that my relationship with my husband was not always easy. In fact it was very difficult for many many years. We have been together for almost 15 years now but only married for 2 of those years. Why did we wait so long? As I stated before things weren’t always great. I wasn’t in a rush to marry Into a relationship that was rocky. I took some time away from the relationship after some unfortunate events and it was the greatest thing I ever did. You know the saying ” you don’t know what you have until it’s gone?” I believe that was the case for us. With a full heart of joy I can now say that we are in a great place. The key is to be in a stable relationship with someone you really know and trust BEFORE you walk down the isle. Marriage doesn’t mean you settle. It doesn’t mean you give up who you are or the things you like. It simply means you have someone else’s feelings to consider when you do the things you like. Consult your partner before doing things so he or she feels they had a part in making the decision. If you are with someone who truly loves you they would never want you to lose who you are as a person. The things you love. Your hobbies. Your friends. These things make us who we are and a true partner in life will help you grow and achieve things, not try to change you or hold you back. So when I go out for drinks or meet new friends or do videos for my social media sites and people ask me “but aren’t you married?” “Does your husband know you do that?” My response is always the same “I’m married not dead, and my husband allows me to be free as long as I’m respectful of our vows”. THAT Is marriage. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty for doing things in life that make you happy! You may wear a ring and have a paper that ties you to someone else but it should never mean you lose who you are! Being married means having someone to share yourself with, not compromising what makes you who they fell in love with in the first place!